Sunday, 23 June 2013

Midnight muse

Holy shit.
I miss you so much right now.
Everything's a blur.
Did I really just let you go?!
):
I need to talk to you... even though it's been a month since we finally said our goodbyes. This is the first time in a while that I miss you.
In a weird sense you make me feel sane. Is this one of those days which will come biting at me for making you choose?!
right now I feel the need to talk to you so bad. Why do I always fck things up. The things that mean the most to me. I  can't believe this is already the 6th year. I feel so agsjshshdk right now. I want to talk to you, to rant to you endlessly about stupid things. Can't you understand that you're different. You make me feel so normal (as ironic as it sounds) I want to chase after that normalcy you offer yet my feet will remain forever planted on the ground. Stagnant.  I dare not move. Not after you said what you said.
It hurt so much.  So fucking much.
Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut and pretended nothing happened and play along like I always do when you come back. Except this time I know you aren't going to return.
At the same time I hate you so much. Would it really kill you to just give a proper goodbye. I wanted to emancipate myself from us, not a freaking cliff hanger 
Why do you always do this to me. ):



I'm drunk.

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