These past few days when I soak in silence 

my brain has been circling back to you for no reason.

And I hate it.

So freaking much because it feels like so much wasted.

We went about things wrong so many times, 

that I don't even know where to begin to unravel it all.
But it seems like it wouldn't have mattered which way

because this is us now.

 I made you into some sort of crutch more than I realised,

which kept me holding on for all the times I should have just cut you loose.
At least I think that would have ended better than now.
This in between and you pulling the same shit you always do.

But I guess what annoys me more than our constant

back and forth is the fact that I'm as familiar with you as I am

with that islander who would busk jazz at central.

A few months ago I was going to be honest and upfront

 about this to you but I held myself back thinking it would be another bout of drama

that I didn't need. Though we only ever get real when we have

those kinda chats so I guess anything beats the tedious small talks we somehow

managed to get ourselves started on.

At this point in time though it seems like whatever the conclusion may be doesn't matter anymore.
I just want to stop caring

I actually can't believe there's less than 3 months left

wow when I mentioned this to Pieta 

she was all "don't make me cry"
HAHAHAHA don't act like you aren't planning on leaving the west

But seriously I was so excited to see Mel back from her 6 weeks A/L

I missed her so muchhhh wahhhh

And then there's Richard telling Jennifer and I to hurry up

and become a CNS like he did 2nd/3rd year out
no pressure yeah

♥

Nights when Thrizza would hit me up for kbbq

and be willing to trek all the way because the crave is real

HAHAHA

She is my person

♥